Reading the Room: The Power of Empathy in Social Engineering
When engaging with someone, whether in casual conversation or more calculated interactions, how often do you think about their emotional state? In social engineering, this awareness can be a game-changer.
Social engineering involves manipulating someone into revealing information or performing actions, often without them even realizing it. But at its core, successful social engineering relies not on trickery alone, but on deep emotional intelligence—specifically, recognizing what the other person emotional state and what their needs are then responding to it in a way that makes them feel understood and valued.
Before approaching someone, take the time to observe and read the subtle cues that give away a person’s mood or emotional state. Is this person tired? Do they look stressed or frustrated? Or perhaps they’re simply in need of a little attention or validation.
Identifying these emotional needs, and offering a solution—whether that’s a coffee, a listening ear, or even just a bit of empathetic conversation—can build trust quickly. When someone likes and feels understood by you, they are far more likely to open up and provide information, sometimes even without realizing they are doing so.
Emotional Intelligence in Social Engineering
Every person you encounter is different. One may be more guarded, while another might be eager to talk about their problems. Some people may react positively to humor, while others might need a more serious tone.
Emotional states are in constant flux, meaning that the same approach you used on someone yesterday might not work on them today. The best social engineers are not rigid—they are adaptable. They can read the room, or in this case, read the person, and adjust their tactics accordingly.
Empathy is your most powerful tool in this regard. By understanding the emotional needs of others, you can better anticipate how to interact with them. The goal is not to force a connection but to genuinely respond to the situation as it unfolds.
If someone seems stressed, offer to lighten their load. If they seem lonely, be the person who listens. By providing what they need, you not only build rapport but also position yourself as someone they trust. And trust is the foundation upon which social engineering thrives.
You may have all the best elicitation tricks in your bag, but without empathy or the ability to read your target’s emotional state, you will likely fail. By contrast, a novice in the art, who has little to no tricks or techniques for human manipulation may have great success simply by being very adapt at reading a person’s present needs and providing them.
Recognizing Needs: The Subtle Art of Baselining
Baselining refers to observing and establishing what a person’s default behavior looks like. Before you even engage with someone, you should take stock of their normal appearance, mood, situation, surroundings and mannerisms. What does this person look like before you have even approached them?
Are they naturally more introverted, or do they have a bubbly personality? Is their office full of trophies or is it drab and baron? Is their hair and clothing well kept and neat or messy and stained ?
This initial observation is crucial because it gives you insight into their current emotional state and as such what they likely need in that moment. Your goal when first approaching a new target is to build rapport, make them feel good about themselves and then consider plying tricks to extract information or favors.
For example, take the man in the image above, if you were to pass him by in a hallway what would you consider his emotional state to be? While you may not be 100% correct, you can at least understand where on the emotional spectrum he currently is, then empathize and respond.
Humanizing someone in this way is often all it takes to spark a conversation and even friendship. This is why my opening line for approaching a new target is often a simple empathetic statement.
Something as simple as “You look like you could use a coffee” and offering one to him is very often all it takes to instantly build rapport. That said, if you’re wrong and the person tells you to go away, no harm, your technique didn’t work but you’re also not at a lose either.
Emotion vs. Logic: Understanding How Emotional States Impact Social Engineering
Human beings tend to operate on a sliding scale between emotion and logic. The more someone is driven by emotion, the less likely they are to think in a calculated, logical way—and vice versa. This concept is crucial in social engineering because emotional people are often easier to influence, while highly logical individuals can be more resistant to manipulation.
It’s impossible for someone to be in a state of intense emotion—like rage, excitement, or fear—and simultaneously remain cold and rational. Strong emotions overwhelm the brain’s capacity for logical thinking.
When someone is caught up in their feelings, they are less likely to scrutinize your words or actions, making them more susceptible to suggestions, persuasion, and elicitation. This is why social engineers often find success in targeting individuals who are emotionally heightened in some way—whether they are stressed, excited, frustrated, or even overjoyed.
If you do find yourself attempting to elicit a neutral or logical person, finding a way to nudge them into an emotional state, which includes happiness, can go a long way in making your work easier.
For example, someone who is frustrated at work might not think twice about venting sensitive information, simply because they need to release that emotional tension. A stressed person might be willing to grant you access to resources or help you out, just to alleviate some of their burden. The emotional state overrides their usual cautiousness, making it easier for you to exploit these moments of vulnerability.
The Empathy Advantage
One of the key advantages of recognizing emotional needs is the increase in your success rate with social engineering techniques. Rather than employing a one-size-fits-all strategy, empathy allows you to be dynamic in your approach. The technique that worked brilliantly last week may fall flat today if the person’s emotional state has shifted. Therefore, adaptability is crucial.
I find that approaching every encounter with an empathetic eye and ear has drastically increased my rate of success when attempting to elicit or social engineering.
I DO NOT approach a person thinking how can I manipulate them, or get them to do what I want, but instead, I begin each interaction with asking simple questions like:
Where is this person emotionally today?
How can I make their day a little bit better?
How do I leave the conversation making them happier than before it started?
Approaching people this way, with this attitude has served me very well both in my professional and personal life and I would highly encourage everyone to look at people in a more empathetic manner, even if you have no intention of social engineering.
Summary & Step By Steps
Here’s a step-by-step approach you can use to recognize and address someone’s emotional needs, ultimately improving your social engineering success:
Establish a Baseline: What does their usual behavior look like? Identifying their "normal" helps you spot emotional shifts, such as sudden stress, fatigue, or frustration. Baseline goes behind their attitude, but includes everything about them, including the situation they are in and their surroundings.
Anticipate Needs: Based on your observation, what might they need in this moment? Could they benefit from a break, a drink, or just a moment of venting?
Provide the Solution: Approach with empathy, offering something small that addresses their current need. It could be as simple as a gesture of kindness or an open-ended question that lets them express themselves.
Build Trust Through Connection: Once you’ve met their need, they are more likely to open up. Use this opportunity to deepen the conversation, gradually steering it toward the information you need.
Pivot Back To BS: Once you have accomplished your task, make sure to pivot the conversation back to the mundane. People remember key points about most interactions, primarily: beginning & end, emotional moments, and questions.
Conclusion: The Power of Empathy in Social Engineering
At its core, social engineering is not just about manipulation—it's about connection. Recognizing and responding to another person’s emotional needs is an incredibly effective way to build trust and rapport, making them more likely to share information with you.
By baselining their normal behavior and tuning into subtle emotional cues, you can drastically improve your success rate. Whether you’re trying to gather data, influence decisions, or simply strengthen a relationship, empathy is your most powerful tool.
In a world where information is power, being empathetic, adaptable, and attuned to others' emotional states is the key to unlocking doors—sometimes without the other person even realizing it.
Training Resources:
For individuals looking for a hands on training that includes all of the above topics, Covert Access Team (covertaccessteam.com) provides training courses focused on physical penetration testing, lockpicking, bypassing techniques, social engineering and other essential skills.
Covert Access Training - 5 day hands on course designed to train individuals and groups to become Covert Entry Specialists
Physical Audit Training - 2 day course on how to setup and run a physical security audit
Elicitation Toolbox Course - 2 day course of that primarily focuses on elicitation and social engineering as critical aspects of Black Teaming
Counter Elicitation - 2 day course on how to recognize and prevent elicitation attempts, and safegaurd your secrets.
Cyber Bootcamp for Black Teams - 2 day course designed explicitly for physical penetration testers who need vital cyber skills to add to their toolbox.
Private Instruction - Focused learning & training based on your needs .